Type A and Plan B.

"We're called to be faithful to God even when it seems He hasn't been faithful to us. We're called to love Him even when we feel abandoned. We're called to look for Him even in the midst of the darkness. We're called to worship Him even through our tears."

Pete Wilson is the pastor of Crosspoint Church in Nashville, Tennessee. His blog, withoutwax.tv, is a place I visit frequently to be inspired and challenged. And it's where I learned about his first book, Plan B. I was honored to receive an advance reader's copy.

So, my original plan was to finish reading Plan B several weeks ago. I even blocked time on my calendar - “read Plan B, “ponder Plan B,” “review Plan B.” But it seems this Type A has had to move to her own Plan B, because I haven’t finished it yet.

Now, please don’t get the wrong idea - it’s not that I don’t want to read the book (trust me, I’ve got a stack of books that have been started but not finished because they simply haven’t captivated me). Rather, it’s because I keep reading - and re-reading - chapter after chapter, finding myself and those I love in the stories, discovering new soundbites, and falling even more in love with the beauty of an imperfect life made perfect by a God who causes all things to work together for His good and His glory. Pete is unafraid to talk about a life that is messy, that doesn’t have all the answers - and about a God who is sovereign in the midst of the mess.

"In this life, many of your questions will simply not have answers. But through it all, God Himself will never change. That is why our faith must rest on His identity and not necessarily His activity."

Plan B reflects on the beauty of disappointment, suffering, surrender and community. It is practical and weighty without being heavy-handed. It will be a book recommended to many, including you. And it will be a book I read - and re-read- over and over again.

The Pesky Little Brother - Crave by Chris Tomlinson

“God is different. He's much more terrifying than I had imagined, but also so much more glorious and beautiful than I thought possible.” ~ Chris Tomlinson, Crave

There are people in this world who prod me on, like a pesky little brother I don’t want to be bothered with as I rush through my self-important days. Despite my efforts to appear brilliant and more mature, certain individuals can level me with just a few well-placed words. In Chris Tomlinson, I believe I’ve met my newest “leveler.”

It starts with the title of his book. Crave - Wanting So Much More of God. As if he knows that quaking in my heart as it moves between the here-and-now and the now-and-forever, Chris’ first book shares a real, unvarnished view of a questioning Christ-follower. He addresses the topics rarely discussed in “grown-up” bible studies - topics that reveal a vulnerability and transparency we Christians often try to hide, for fear we’ll be seen as lacking on the journey. The stories are woven into other stories - about pagers and hamburgers and lawn chairs and strangers on airplanes and Twin Draft-Guards - with a purposeful lack of pretense. Each chapter is a moment, tied in a beautifully uneven bow.

Prayer. Suffering. Faith. Pleasure. Doubt. Joy. Boldness. What it feels like when God pushes - and when God is silent. What it means to pursue Christ - with abandon and with apprehension. In Crave, Chris Tomlinson pulls up a a chair and starts talking. There are no forced “teachable moments,” no alliterative points to ponder. There are simply stories - stories from a most insightful pesky little brother.

Fairy-dust or Dirt.

"The notion that only good things happen to faithful people was put to rest on a Friday afternoon at Calvary." ~William Willimon

I’ve been pondering faith today. Not the fairy-dust, flittering kind of faith that smiles and says “it’ll all be OK, sweetie” with a slight wink - but a weighty, dirty, deliberate faith. I’ve seen that faith in action before, and have always admired it. In fact, I’ve often said in moments of inspiration, reflection and prayer, “Lord, I’m here to do what You desire – I’ll follow Your path, press into You fully, go wherever and do whatever.” Gosh, I do love Jesus. And I want those words to be true. I want my life to be a complete picture of His glory and His majesty, because He deserves no less. I want to live a life that is faith-filled.

Or at least I think I do.

When I live life in the day-to-day, I see myself much more drawn to a comfortable life that far too often draws its strength from the here-and-now rather than the now-and-forever. I see someone suffer, and I reach for faith to get through. I have a difficult day, and I reach for faith to move past it. I hear of someone else’s heartfelt desires and hopes, and I reach for faith to join them in celebrating the yet-unseen victory. Wow, I reach for faith like a soda or a bag of chips.

Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness.” C.S Lewis

But how often do I simply and deliberately reach for faith as an act of love for my Saviour? Reading Hebrews 11 is always a sobering thing for me. While I smile at reading about those who have walked the road before me, paving a beautiful, narrow, well-worn way, I am jarred by the imagery.

It's impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that He exists and that He cares enough to respond to those who seek Him. ~Heb. 11:6 MSG

Would I reach for a dirty faith that says “I’m walking INTO hardship because I know my God will not let me down.” Would I reach for a weighty faith that says “I’m walking INTO suffering because I know my God will not let me go.” Would I deliberately reach for a faith that leads to pain or sorrow? Oh, how I would love to say “yes.”

But, at the end of the day, am I really looking for fairy-dust faith?

How about you? Fairy-dust or dirt?