19 February 2009

Late Night in My Head.

I’ve been asked before “exactly what goes on in that head of yours?” So tonight, as I snuggle up with my pup in our quiet house, I thought I would simply write down a few thoughts as I slowly fade to slumber. Note that there really isn’t any rhyme or reason to the order – much like real life. But as in all things, there is purpose.

As of late, I have been blessed to experience the heart-breaking joy of serving a friend who is dying. It is a most humbling honor. Taking out trash, filling the dishwasher, running the vacuum cleaner – all have a special meaning now. I have a newfound appreciation of Smoothie King and Sonic ice. I understand the scripture “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” in a whole new way. And I think a Coke float may be the most beautiful meal in the world.

I am in awe of people who simply love Jesus. I can do passion, I can do enthusiasm. But simple is tough.

If I could, I would give each member of my family and each one of my friends something far more valuable than a gift that money can buy. I would wrap up an experience for each of them – a little moment in time that would reveal grandeur and delicate and big and little and awe.
• Hug an orphan in a foreign land.
• Get caught in a rainstorm. In a jeep. With the top down.
• Go four-wheeling in the mud in the piney woods of Texas.
• Watch a sunset sitting on the rock wall at Lake Hefner in Oklahoma City.
• Sit quietly in the midst of the snow in the Rockies and just listen – the sound is a symphony.
• Drive fast – really fast- along the PCH.
• Lie on the grass and look at the sky – and then imagine letting go and falling up into it.
• Stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon and watch the colors change as the sun sets on the rocks.
• Sit on a moonlit beach in Mexico as the waves crash and the tide rolls in.

I think I like wedding photos best of all; especially candid photos that capture a joyful or tender moment – or dancing. Oh, to dance.

What if, in this life, I am meant to be a conduit or a catalyst? What if I never again personally experience the opportunity to care for orphans or serve the poor – what if my purpose going forward is to connect other people to the ministry I love so? Could I be thankful for a life lived “in the wings?” I pray the answer would be “yes!"

I am amazed that the God of the universe, the God that created time but isn't bound by it, would find it important to intimately love and design a specific purpose for a life that is but a vapor. Thank You. Thank You so very much.

1 comment:

paprgl said...

I am inspired by you.