14 May 2010

Trapped on a Treadmill

When I run, my playlist transports me to other places - I might be on the cobblestone streets in Antigua, Guatemala, or on the dark, wet pavement in St Petersburg, Russia. I can feel the dirt roads in Corrientes, Argentina, the pine needle trails in the Rocky Mountain National Park, or the winding paths outside of Nashville. I’ve even pictured myself running in Africa.

Today, though, I was trapped here.

My road was the treadmill, and the rain on the window in front of me blurred the landscape into shades of gray and green. I wanted so badly to see the hills in the distance and feel myself running toward them, but the rain was in the way. It obscured the view of the trees, the lake, the limestone cliffs.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.

This week has been a difficult one, as my husband experienced for the first time in his long and storied career what it feels like to be discarded. Despite what anyone says about downsizing being “just business,” the toll it takes is a heavy one. The road is unfamiliar, and each step is a new one. The rain on the window painted a perfect picture.

And my playlist transported me again. Not to another place, but to a holy Face. It was as if the Lord, in His beautiful technological kindness, had shuffled the perfect mix for me.

Can’t stop, you can’t stop the seasons
Don’t stop, don’t stop believing
Keep on dreaming of the day when it all will change
Believe in the end, love wins
If you’re waiting for the time when your sun will shine
Oh, look above cause love wins

-Love Wins (Robbie Seay Band)

And in you
I can begin again
I’m part of a bigger plan
Cause you are the great “I am”
And in you
Your life is in my veins
And you’ve broken all my chains
Cause you are the God who reigns.

-Life Light Up (Christy Nockels)

Of all the gifts you’ve me, the greatest one has been silence
I’m a kitten climbing up a tree, inspecting one more mystery, I’m falling.
From the thought of my life if you should stay
there’s no point to this life if we don’t risk it all the way.

-Libertad (Pacifika)

With a few perfectly selected songs, God reminded me once again that the future is as vibrant as the greens of the trees and the blue of the lake when the rain clears and the sun shines again.

Perhaps I wasn’t trapped on that treadmill after all.

But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing Him directly just as He knows us! 1 Corinthians 13:12