One of a Million, or One in a Million?

I saw Madagascar 2 this past weekend. It was a special date with my cousin, Julia, who is undergoing aggressive chemotherapy for lung cancer. We arose early, bundled up to brave the chilly Oklahoma winds, and headed to the theatre for a special morning treat. As we ate our “popcorn for breakfast” (something that we’ve now done two times since she began her treatment), we laughed at the great jokes, tributes to shows like The Twilight Zone, and the amazing use of both Boston and Barry Manilow in the same movie. Few things are more precious than the sound of both big hearty grown-up chuckles and big baby belly laughs on a Saturday morning.

While the time at the theatre was meant to provide respite for my cousin, a particular storyline in the Dreamworks flick resonated with me – that of being uniquely gifted. In this “savoring” season of my life, it is so easy to reflect back and wonder if there is any true value in anything I’ve done. It’s easy to fall prey to the sins of “what if” and “if only.” While I don’t regret the road I’ve traveled, I do wonder how many years have been robbed because I have so often veered from the illuminated path and gotten tangled in the twisted limbs of things like hurt or ego or fear. And while I do believe God is sovereign, it’s that mysterious mix of His providence and my obedience that I have yet to fully grasp.

I look at my fingerprint. There is no one with this fingerprint in existence. While to the naked eye it may look strikingly like others, when examined in fine detail, it is truly one of a kind – evidence that God has uniquely created me for this time, this moment, this life. That fingerprint is a physical reminder that He has “formed and fashioned me,” and that I am truly “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

But do I really believe that? Do I really believe I am “one in a million”? Or do I believe I’m merely “one of a million” – that my unique design by an almighty God doesn’t really count for much in the big scheme of things? If “believe” means “by life,” then all too often I slap God in the face with my answer. What would my life look like if I truly lived out His perfect calling for me? How would I live if I took seriously His craftsmanship in every aspect of my being? Oh God, please forgive me for not taking seriously enough Your divine plan, Your wonderful creativity. Please help me to see You in even the smallest details. You are a mighty God who needs nothing, yet you create each one of us to uniquely reveal Your glory. Help me to see what it means to be “one in a million” in You.

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.” – Martha Graham

Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.