29 April 2009

September.

A friend of mine who is a journalist asked me to send my "layoff story" to her as she researches how lives have been changed due to downsizing. I thought I'd post it here as well, as in writing it I've been reminded once again of the Lord's amazing love, sense of humor, and kindness.

Until September, I had never lost a job.

Well, there was the time in college when I worked part-time for a fully automated radio station as receptionist/traffic manager/production assistant. I called in sick one day, but magically recovered within a few hours, donned my cheerleading garb and headed to my other job – that of a “Diamond Girl” for a minor league baseball team. When I came to the station the next day, I was immediately called into the boss’s office, where I was told a local TV station had shown me, smiling and signing autographs. The boss said I needed to think about honesty and integrity. I suggested he do the same, as I was tired of telling his wife he was busy when his girlfriend was in his office. I was fired on the spot.

So, let me rephrase that – until September, with a career spanning more than 25 years, I had never been “downsized.” I had left the corporate world to follow my heart’s passion: working fulltime for an organization that cared for orphans and at-risk children in the United States and around the world. As Marketing Director, I was given the opportunity to find new ways to challenge people to give their time, talent, and treasure. Ambassador programs, social networking efforts – all would be built to grow participation. And best of all, I would get to travel, to places like Russia and Guatemala and Honduras, to care for the countless children without families.

In many ways, the position mirrored corporate life. There were egos and fiefdoms and dress codes and meetings upon meetings to discuss meetings and “organizational effectiveness” and such. The “money” language, though, was different – “donors” replaced “customers,” and in-kind, continuity, and planned giving programs were regular phrases used to describe the various ways the nonprofit received its money and goods. The organization was heavily endowed, with a consistent number of planned giving efforts “maturing” each year. And the in-kind donations of humanitarian aid were delivered in bum bags to orphanages as part of mission trips.

When the economy began its downward turn in the summer of 2008, “organizational efficiency” became the catch-phrase around the nonprofit. There was talk of restructuring, consolidation – but never reductions. But after a two-day closed door meeting of the senior executives, the tone changed. 10% of the workforce was eliminated, and major budget reductions were made to hedge against the storm of recession.

So, on September 23rd, just four days before my birthday and five days before a trip to Gautemala to deliver shoes to orphans, my department was dissolved, my job eliminated. I immediately began making the list of “things to do” to equip myself for a job hunt – new resume, networking lunches, a quick tweet to friends – but I felt something inside simply say, “Stop.” And I did. I made a purposeful decision to simply savor the season rather than rush to the next thing.

And the most amazing thing happened. The next thing came to me.

I am doing marketing work again – this time for not only nonprofits, but churches and small companies and people who need help with their careers. I’m also handling artist relations for two musicians and helping launch a new nonprofit that will focus on the needs of foster children. This time, the egos and fiefdoms and dress codes are kept to a minimum – in fact, I’ve been known to office in my jammies when the mood strikes me. And those meetings about meetings? They simply don’t exist. Operational effectiveness is moving along smoothly, and best of all, the office is extremely relaxed. Facebook is my “cube farm” now since I work at home. My assistant is a dog – a real dog, as in Cocker Spaniel. My business partners are fellow freelancers, who work alongside me on projects to create the perfect team for a client in need. Sure, the money isn’t as great as it was with the huge nonprofit. But the payoff in freedom and laughter has been worth it. It’s what I love to call being “gainfully unemployed.”

And what about the opportunity to travel, now that I’m no longer working for the organization? Funny you should ask. This year, Argentina, Honduras and Guatemala are all on my calendar. Honduras and Guatemala will include those bum bags of humanitarian aid – I am leading the mission teams, courtesy of the very nonprofit that laid me off last year.

Looking back, I think September was a very good month.

10 April 2009

Three men. All of them me.

Oh, for grace. Amazing grace.

Peter. So bold. So confident in his affection for Jesus. Yet, Jesus knew His heart - knew he would deny His deity, deny even knowing Him. And still He loved.

Joseph of Arimathea. Nicodemus. So afraid to be bold. So afraid to be confident in their affection for Jesus. Yet, Jesus knew their hearts - knew they would serve Him, knew they would soon understand His deity. And still He loved.

Three men. All stumbling. All failing. All redeemed.

I am Peter. I am Joseph. I am Nicodemus.

I am thankful.

24 March 2009

A whispering word.

Psalm 89:1 I will sing of the steadfast love of the LORD, forever;
with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations.
2 For I said, “Steadfast love will be built up forever;
in the heavens you will establish your faithfulness.”
3 You have said, “I have made a covenant with my chosen one;
I have sworn to David my servant:
4 ‘I will establish your offspring forever,
and build your throne for all generations.’” Selah
5 Let the heavens praise your wonders, O LORD,
your faithfulness in the assembly of the holy ones!
6 For who in the skies can be compared to the LORD?
Who among the heavenly beings is like the LORD,
7 a God greatly to be feared in the council of the holy ones,
and awesome above all who are around him?
8 O LORD God of hosts,
who is mighty as you are, O LORD,
with your faithfulness all around you?
9 You rule the raging of the sea;
when its waves rise, you still them.
10 You crushed Rahab like a carcass;
you scattered your enemies with your mighty arm.
11 The heavens are yours; the earth also is yours;
the world and all that is in it, you have founded them.
12 The north and the south, you have created them;
Tabor and Hermon joyously praise your name.
13 You have a mighty arm;
strong is your hand, high your right hand.
14 Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne;
steadfast love and faithfulness go before you.
15 Blessed are the people who know the festal shout,
who walk, O LORD, in the light of your face,
16 who exult in your name all the day
and in your righteousness are exalted.
17 For you are the glory of their strength;
by your favor our horn is exalted.
18 For our shield belongs to the LORD,
our king to the Holy One of Israel. (ESV)

As I read the Psalms today, I’m reminded of an precious old hymn.

"Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty..."

He is Lord. Master. Ruler. Redeemer.
He is God. Creator. Incomparable.
He is Almighty. Powerful. Awesome.

The words of the Psalm, a maskil – or “new song,” tell of His power, His strength, His steadfast love. I am reminded that, in the storms, He is there. In the desert, He is there. He established all I see. His light is the light that truly guides my way. He has made covenant with generation after generation.

But what catches my eye the most is a word that sits quietly next to the song. A purposeful movement - that on this day whispers to me so loudly.

Selah.

It’s a pause in the music. A momentary silence.

It's a sigh. A breath. A moment of rest and reflection. A reminder to slow down, to think, to remember. To stop and let truth resonate.

Selah is a “yes.” An “amen.” An “it is well.”

There is beauty in Selah for me today.

Because in the frenzy of my heart - in the desire to go and be and do and run and try - I need to stop. And breathe. And rest. And listen. I need a “yes” and “amen.” I need to remember that, yes, “it is well.”

Selah.

20 March 2009

The Ideas Swirling.

It’s no secret I love to write. And I do a lot of it –marketing stuff mostly for clients. The writing that gives me the most joy, though, is that which allows me to let my imagination take flight. Short stories, poems, blogs all make me smile. In fact, I’ve long dreamed of writing a book – though I can’t imagine anything in particular I would have to say that would be of great interest to anyone (outside of the family and friends who always cheer me on, no matter what).

Oh, there’s plenty on my mind. I think about growing up as the “golden child” in a very messed-up family, or the “terrible two’s” of pride and fear I see that keep so many people in our world trapped. I think about the absolute beauty of amazing grace, especially in those moments when I stumble the hardest. And for those who really know me, yes, I think seriously about a cookbook – but not just any cookbook. This one really would read like a good novel. There are ideas just swirling around. Perhaps I’ll one day grab one of them and run.

Lately, a lot of my writing hasn’t been the stuff of blogs or brochures. It’s been focused on other things – pieces of a journey I have been honored and humbled to walk this past year. The writing has included countless text messages and emails, content for a fundraising website, letters, recipes, lists of people and lists of things both “to do” and “not to forget.” And an obituary. For a beautiful friend.

“David M Lipscomb, 45, of Nashville, Tennessee, met his Savior in Heaven on Wednesday, February 25, 2009, after a courageous battle with pancreatic cancer. David was a loving son and husband, a nurturing father, a caring friend, a successful businessman, a fightin’ Texas Aggie, and most importantly, a passionate follower of Jesus Christ…”



The journey with David and his family has caused new ideas to swirl around in my head. I think about what constitutes “old friends” – given the depth of love felt for a family I’ve only known for a short while. I think about what defines joy – given the incredible fulfillment that comes from making sure there are plenty of Cokes and animal crackers at a funeral. I think about what true worship is – given the beauty of honoring a man who truly honored God without reservation. I think about the difference between life and being fully alive.

Now, maybe that would make a good book.

03 March 2009

You've done well, my good and faithful son.

It's 2:30am, and my friend Courtney and I are working on last-minute preparations for a memorial service here in Franklin, Tennessee. Honestly, the term "memorial service" seems so empty when thinking about David Lipscomb. He was, and remains, a man of true character and integrity - a man who passionately loved Jesus and allowed that love to command his life. So we are really working on a celebration - a homecoming - in the most real of all ways. And I must admit, I'm a bit jealous. David now stands in Glory, unfettered by the chains of this fallen world. He has truly been made fully alive. Wow.

This song became David's theme during his journey with cancer. It was sung tonight by The Afters at a special private benefit concert, and will be sung again in just a few short hours. The words pierce to the core.

Wait

Wait, I can hardly wait
To look into Your face
When the world disappears into Your eyes

Wait, I can hardly wait
To hear Your sweet voice say
You've done well, my good and faithful son

Breathe, I can hardly breathe
In anticipation
Waiting for the day to come
When You will shine on me

Wait, I can hardly wait
To bow down at Your feet
Kiss the scars that bore my sins away

I can hardly breathe
In anticipation
Waiting for the day to come
When You will shine on me
Wait, I can hardly wait

22 February 2009

Sunrise at the Church of Sunshine and Solitude

I'm sitting in the backyard of a friend's house. It's Sunday - and church today for me is a beautiful, delicate moment of sunshine and solitude. A little scripture-reading, the Nichole Nordeman channel on Pandora, and some hot tea blend together for a precious time.

"Sunrise" by Nichole Nordeman means much to me this morning as I think about this season. For David and his family, for Courtney and Ryan, for Amy and Mark and the girls, for JuJu...

If I had the chance
To go back again
Take a different road, bear a lighter load
Tell an easy story

I would walk away
With my yesterdays
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only

Every valley
Every bitter chill
Made me ready to climb back up the hill
And find that . . .

You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise

There’s a moment when
Faith caves in
There’s a time when every soul is certain God is gone

But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us

You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise

You alone will shine
You alone can resurrect this heart of mine

You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise

You are sunrise

19 February 2009

Late Night in My Head.

I’ve been asked before “exactly what goes on in that head of yours?” So tonight, as I snuggle up with my pup in our quiet house, I thought I would simply write down a few thoughts as I slowly fade to slumber. Note that there really isn’t any rhyme or reason to the order – much like real life. But as in all things, there is purpose.

As of late, I have been blessed to experience the heart-breaking joy of serving a friend who is dying. It is a most humbling honor. Taking out trash, filling the dishwasher, running the vacuum cleaner – all have a special meaning now. I have a newfound appreciation of Smoothie King and Sonic ice. I understand the scripture “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” in a whole new way. And I think a Coke float may be the most beautiful meal in the world.

I am in awe of people who simply love Jesus. I can do passion, I can do enthusiasm. But simple is tough.

If I could, I would give each member of my family and each one of my friends something far more valuable than a gift that money can buy. I would wrap up an experience for each of them – a little moment in time that would reveal grandeur and delicate and big and little and awe.
• Hug an orphan in a foreign land.
• Get caught in a rainstorm. In a jeep. With the top down.
• Go four-wheeling in the mud in the piney woods of Texas.
• Watch a sunset sitting on the rock wall at Lake Hefner in Oklahoma City.
• Sit quietly in the midst of the snow in the Rockies and just listen – the sound is a symphony.
• Drive fast – really fast- along the PCH.
• Lie on the grass and look at the sky – and then imagine letting go and falling up into it.
• Stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon and watch the colors change as the sun sets on the rocks.
• Sit on a moonlit beach in Mexico as the waves crash and the tide rolls in.

I think I like wedding photos best of all; especially candid photos that capture a joyful or tender moment – or dancing. Oh, to dance.

What if, in this life, I am meant to be a conduit or a catalyst? What if I never again personally experience the opportunity to care for orphans or serve the poor – what if my purpose going forward is to connect other people to the ministry I love so? Could I be thankful for a life lived “in the wings?” I pray the answer would be “yes!"

I am amazed that the God of the universe, the God that created time but isn't bound by it, would find it important to intimately love and design a specific purpose for a life that is but a vapor. Thank You. Thank You so very much.

06 February 2009

From the only thing to the most important thing.

I've been praying a lot lately - for so many people, so many things. Friends in financial crisis, friends waging war against ravaging diseases, friends struggling to focus in the midst of difficulties. Our country, our leaders, the innocent caught in the cross-fire. Those I love, those I know, and those I have yet to meet. I've fallen asleep whispering prayers and been awakened in the middle of the night by cries to Heaven. Prayer has moved from a last-ditch "the only thing I can do" position to "the most important thing I can do." And I've been asking people to join me in the journey - most recently for a precious friend who is battling cancer.

My sweet Alisha sent this message by Max Lucado to me, as a gentle reminder to stay the course, even when the road looks dark. As I sit and listen to Mindy Smith's "Down in Flames," which reflects on difficult days and saving hope, I rest in the power of prayer. Thanks 'Lish for the reminder.

When You Speak, God Hears
by Max Lucado

Those who pray keep alive the watch fires of faith. For the most part we don't even know their names. Such is the case of someone who prayed on a day long ago. His name is not important. He is important not because of who he was, but because of what he did.

He went to Jesus on behalf of a friend. His friend was sick, and Jesus could help, and someone needed to go to Jesus, so someone went. Others cared for the sick man in other ways. Some brought food; others provided treatment; still others comforted the family. Each role was crucial. Each person was helpful, but no one was more vital than the one who went to Jesus.

John writes: "So Mary and Martha sent someone to tell Jesus, 'Lord, the one you love is sick'" (John 11:3, emphasis mine).

Someone carried the request. Someone walked the trail. Someone went to Jesus on behalf of Lazarus. And because someone went, Jesus responded.

In the economy of heaven, the prayers of saints are a valued commodity. John the apostle would agree. He wrote the story of Lazarus and was careful to show the sequence: The healing began when the request was made.

The phrase the friend of Lazarus used is worth noting. When he told Jesus of the illness, he said, "The one you love is sick." The power of the prayer, in other words, does not depend on the one who makes the prayer but on the one who hears the prayer.

We can and must repeat the phrase in manifold ways. "The one you love is tired, sad, hungry, lonely, fearful, depressed." The words of the prayer vary, but the response never changes. The Savior hears the prayer. He silences heaven so he won't miss a word. The Master heard the request. Jesus stopped whatever he was doing and took note of the man's words. This anonymous courier was heard by God.
John's message is critical. You can talk to God because God listens. Your voice matters in heaven. He takes you very seriously. When you enter his presence, the attendants turn to you to hear your voice. No need to fear that you will be ignored. Even if you stammer or stumble, even if what you have to say impresses no one, it impresses God--and he listens.

Intently. Carefully. The prayers are honored as precious jewels. Purified and empowered, the words rise in a delightful fragrance to our Lord. "The smoke from the incense went up from the angel's hand to God" (Rev. 8:4). Incredible. Your words do not stop until they reach the very throne of God.

One call and heaven's fleet appears. Your prayer on earth activates God's power in heaven.

You are the someone of God's kingdom. Your prayers move God to change the world. You may not understand the mystery of prayer. You don't need to. But this much is clear: Actions in heaven begin when someone prays on earth. What an amazing thought!

When you speak, Jesus hears.
And when Jesus hears, the world is changed.
All because someone prayed.

03 February 2009

October 1949

"I have prayed for new men, fiery, reckless men, possessed of uncontrollably youthful passion--these lit by the Spirit of God. I have prayed for new words, explosive, direct, simple words. I have prayed for new miracles. Explaining old miracles will not do. If God is to be known as the God who does wonders in heaven and earth, then God must produce for this generation. Lord, fill preachers and preaching with Thy power. How long dare we go on without tears, without moral passions, hatred and love? Not long, I pray, Lord Jesus, not long." -Jim Elliot

Fifty years have passed since Elliot penned that prayer in his journal.
I pray today that there are "Jim Elliot"s still in this world, ready to truly lay it all down for the sake of the cross. And I pray I may be brave enough to be counted as one of them.